Chrysler Sebring Convertible

I’m no expert, but as far as I can tell the current economic crisis is a result of two factors. Firstly banks giving credit to people who couldn’t pay and secondly due to the greed of a large proportion of corporate executives. The latter of which I’m most concerned with at this point in time.

You see these executives have been “trading recklessly,” as would be described by the Companies Act, whilst taking massive performance based bonus’ that are 100% unwarranted. It’s really a ridiculous situation – shown off most in my opinion by AIG, the big American insurance corporation.

Their executives were so useless that even after being bailed out by the US government – with a not inconsiderable amount of money – they went off on some lavish “brainstorming” holiday at St. Regis Resort in California. Costing $500,000 no less. They clearly weren’t serious.

Chrysler weren’t serious when they came up with the Sebring Convertible either. In fact I can imagine that in their dire straits they spent a similar week or two at some or other ridiculously priced resort with their design and production team; drinking rather than coming up with a decent car.

Never ever have I been in a car where I felt so on display at the same time as feeling so cheap. At least when you’re in a Renault Sandero you’re so unnoticeable you’d even blend into the Freestate scenery. The Sebring however is bold and vulgar, putting everything on display, like a fat girl in hot pants. I felt like a foot in a shoe 5 sizes too big. It was horrible.

The interior is no better really. The plastics are hard and scratchy, the leather’s cheap and nasty, everything feels like it could fall apart at any moment. And it probably would if you actually spent any time inside the thing – something I tried my best to avoid at all costs. In case you’re still interested, there is a decent enough level of kit available; climate control, heated seats, full multimedia functions and a cool thing to keep your cup hot or cold depending on its contents. Just not redeeming enough of a feature to provide any attraction.

I feel at this point that I’ve been adequately insulting and that maybe it’s time to lighten up a little. However I haven’t yet explained how horrible it is behind the wheel of the Sebring. I’ve driven other four-seater convertibles that felt taught and sporty and fun. The Chrysler doesn’t have a single one of those qualities. It feels massive and that’s because as I explained previously, it is. With this bulk comes a distinctly bus-like feeling while trying to push on with some enthusiastic driving.

Although the possibility of enthusiastic driving is limited greatly by the positively useless engine / gearbox combination. The 2.7l V6 only produces 137kW, which is the same as you get from a toaster and considering the Sebring weighs about as much as the moon it makes absolutely no difference how hard you push the throttle; there will be more noise from the engine bay, your fuel consumption will worsen, but you won’t get where you’re going any faster. The gearbox causes further issues due to its typically American behaviour. I can only equate a gear change in the Sebring to watching a fat bloke ride a donkey – everything happens oh so slowly.

All of this does have one redeeming factor though. You see once you’ve welded your foot to the floor and managed to slowly begin rolling forward, the Sebring proves to be as manoeuvrable as a barge. If you dare show this car a corner it will merely roll over and assume the foetal position. There is no feedback through the steering and it literally feels like all two tons of the body hangs on the side mirror through corners. Don’t even get me started on driving with the top down. So in the end it’s a good thing you’re never going fast enough to place yourself in any danger.

All in all you would have to have no taste whatsoever, as well as being blind and have a murderer hold a gun to your child’s head to spend R299 900 on the Sebring Convertible. For around that price (or a little more) you can get a number of other four-seater drop tops that will be better looking, better built, more fun and able to turn corners while being propelled by something more than a hamster on a wheel made of lead – see Opel Astra Convertible.