BMW 550 Gran Turismo
A couple months ago I came across a terrible bit of journalism whilst spending a leisurely Sunday morning with the paper. The author of this particular column writes a load of drivel week after week on topics fit only for people with an IQ below that of Mike Tyson.
I hear from my journalist advisor (Justin) that such nonsense is considered adequate for print under the guise of an opinion piece. Someone once told me, “Rather hold your tongue and be thought a fool, than speak and remove all doubt.” A word of advice for said journalist, hold your tongue…and your pen.
I’ll admit I have read a number of these pieces now. The reason being that the first one I came across fell into a category in which I have an interest. Motoring. More specifically the author tried to explain his views on which cars will attract interest from the fairer sex, and which wouldn’t.
It didn’t take long to realise that this bloke is a bit of a buffoon. Each paragraph contradicts the next as his opinion seems to waver as he runs out of words. But he did raise an interesting question.
You see I drive a new car every week. Each of which comes from a wide spectrum on the price scale. From the likes of R100,000 Renault Sandero’s through to R1,1 million Range Rover Sports, and never have I experienced more (or less) interest from the ladies.
This makes me question three things about the author. Firstly, does he know anything about cars at all? Secondly, does he know any woman? And if so, of what calibre are they that the car he does or doesn’t drive affects their interest in him?
With all my questions unanswered the new BMW 550GT arrived at my door. It’s an ugly thing really. The former glory of BMW has been a topic of a number of my previous reviews so I won’t harp on about it again. But it really saddens me to see these Bavarian ogres trundle around the streets of the world.
However underneath this ogre-like exterior is something quite wonderful – a masterpiece of motoring genius and know-how. The driving dynamics of a car as big as the GT should be akin to an I&J fishing boat bobbing about the Atlantic off the coast of Cape Town, “Make the circle bigger” blaring from the drunken mouths of those onboard. And had it been manufactured anywhere other than Bavaria it would have been just that.
I took the GT for a cruise up to Underberg for a few days away from the office. From the open highways to tight and twisty roads in the Drakensberg the GT was never unsettled. Made possible by what to a mere mortal appears to be witchcraft. There are four very clever vehicle dynamics settings, from Comfort through to Sport Plus. If I owned the 550 GT, I’d glue the buttons in Sport Plus mode – which sharpens throttle response, steering, the drive train and suspension. And dumbs down the traction control.
However if it’s comfort you want, there’s plenty of it. The rear wheels even help steer the car, just to make sure the rear passengers enjoy a smooth and more comfortable ride; As though the insanely luxurious seats, endless legroom (literally) and massive TV screens weren’t enough.
The package is well rounded with the 300kW 4.4 litre twin turbo V8 powering the rear wheels of my test car. That power coupled with 600Nm of torque means 0-100km/h in 5.5 seconds. Not bad considering this ogre tops the scales at just over two tonnes. It does however mean that being frugal is not a strong point – even with BMW EffecientDynamics, which, from the marketing blurb, doesn’t seem to do much other than charge the battery. If you live in town there better be a limitless fuel card in your wallet.
However if that worries you, you can’t afford this BMW. Starting at R959,500 with none of the toys it isn’t what you’d call a bargain. With all the toys it’s just darn expensive. If you’re in the market though, suck it up, mortgage the kids and get all the toys. The technological capabilities of this car rival those of America’s space programme – I doubt the Atlantis has infra-red imaging technology, effectively providing the driver with night vision. And the list doesn’t stop there (click here).
What does this have to do with the despised opinion writer? Well for the week I drove the GT, anywhere and everywhere people commented on the car. From shopping centres to petrol stations to people wandering in the street. I felt like a real life rockstar.
So yes Mr Author, if you drive a 550GT (which I highly doubt) you’ll get a fair amount of interest. But not just from women, from everyone.
Price: R 959,500
Engine: 4395cc Twin Turbo V8
Power: 300 kW
Torque: 600 Nm
Acceleration (0-100 km/h): 5.5
Top speed: 250 – electronically limited
Fuel consumption: 13 (actual)
Miles Downard
Photo Credit: Quickpic