Ford Everest

I’m not sure how many of you will relate, but I’ve had days where procrastination has taken me to the edge of the day time television abyss – Verimark ads. There is seemingly no limit on the product line at that place and, once you’ve lost your will to live and your brain has taken the form of mash potatoes, you’ve got your credit card in your hands just itching to make the call.

Now since I’m a lowly paid worker, I couldn’t afford the Big Green Clean machine – which is the most amazing piece of household equipment by the by – I settled for the more manual looking Floor Wiz Pro.

This incredible mop like invention soaks up all spills and mishaps with the greatest of ease. Well, that’s what the cheesy looking day time salesperson told me anyway. I’ve now realised he had all the credibility of Tony Teixeira’s A1GP involvement (must be a salesman thing). The Floor Wiz is not that easy to use, doesn’t mop up all spills, broke the first time I tried squeezing it and is a b…h to clean.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that Verimark ads are not to be believed. And after testing the Ford Everest neither are car ads.

If you’ve seen the advert for the new Ford Everest you’d probably agree that it’s quite appealing. There’s a small teddy bear that wonders around after the Everest which bashes around the bush looking all rugged and it’s all quite impressive.

When the Everest arrived at the doorstep the first thing my photographer (Justin) said was, “Is that a GWM?” And I think that about paints the picture for the rest of my review.

It’s hard to see where Ford went wrong. You see the Everest is much the same as the Toyota Fortuna in form. Basically it’s a Ford Ranger that’s been enclosed to create an SUV (just like Toyota did with the Hilux). Unfortunately the new Ranger isn’t half as good looking as the old one. Off on the wrong foot then.

And it only goes downhill from there. The interior is really shoddy. Like 80’s hairstyle shoddy. A sort of mustard cream adorned every panel – only the dash had a smattering of black to give the eyes a break. Quality? Well there’s none to talk of really. The switch to engage four-wheel drive looked like the dial on my mom’s 25 year old microwave, only worse to operate. And that’s about the best of it.

The seating arrangement was also rather odd. Six seats was somehow the number Ford thought appropriate. How, when the Ranger has three across the back, did Ford think, “No, we’ll make it two, with another two in the boot.” I’m completely baffled. And where did they find those seats? The two in the middle row are so wide I could have three of me sit on one seat. While the two in the back are just dangerous really thanks to a lack of head rests. I sure as hell wouldn’t put my kids in those seats. Maybe the boss of Ford doesn’t like his.

The engine is a noisy 3.0 litre turbocharged diesel. Which is fine in a bakkie but not in an SUV. My test vehicle had an automatic gearbox, something I don’t think I’ve ever seen in a bakkie. Although I would assume I’m not old enough to know what gearboxes bakkie’s had back in the days when overdrive was still used. Ask your grandfather; sure he’ll be old enough to explain it.

When it comes down to it, I’m embarrassed to say I’d rather have the Toyota, which looks better, is built better and costs R2,000 less. Picture George Bush being forced to vote Democrat and you’ll begin to see the hurt it causes me to recommend a Toyota, along with how poor of an impression the Everest left. 

Price: R372,290
Engine: 3.0l TDCi Duratorq
Power: 115 kW
Torque: 380 Nm
Acceleration (0-100 km/h): Not quoted
Top speed: Not quoted
Fuel consumption (l/100km): Not quoted

Verdict – Don’t be fooled by the cheap sales talk, buy the Toyota.

Miles Downard

Photo Credit: Quickpic